in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
