nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
