imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
