does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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