bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
