sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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