So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
