How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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