sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
