you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You pole danced in your parka.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
