Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
