How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
