I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
