): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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