If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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