I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
