Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
