That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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