So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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