Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize