idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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