this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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