At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize