This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
