is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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