So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
