I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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