I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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