the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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