I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
