this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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