His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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