my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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