East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
