According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
