State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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