well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
