I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
