i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
