I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
