I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
false alarm, still single
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
