Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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