i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're like the curious george of whores
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
