they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
