i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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