adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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