Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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