Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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