You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wear drunk well.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
