is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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