You work out of a Hotel?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
