6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
