I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
