Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
