I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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