Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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