why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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