She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
