So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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