All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
