so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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