walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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