What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
